#sometimeswemustFAKEittoMAKEit

 

I WASN’T ALWAYS THIS CONFIDENT AS A WOMAN. I WISHED YOU KNEW THERE WERE TIMES I DIDN’T BELIEVE IN MYSELF,  MULTIPLE TIMES I DIDN’T LOVE MYSELF TO BE PUT FIRST AND MANY TIMES OF NOT REALIZING HOW BEAUTIFUL I WAS…

 

I’m sorry for not putting you first…” 

 

You see me walking down the street, flipping my hair to the side as I strut fast in confidence to the beat of the music that plays in my phone. As I turn to the side to flip my hair again, I catch the odd glances of individuals admiring me from the distance, some even as kind to stop me in my presence to compliment me..but if only you knew. 

 

For every time a joke was made and I was the punch line, deep down I took it to heart and held my head down. For every time my relationships ended, I took a look in the “mirror” and questioned if I was attractive enough for anyone?  For every time nothing went the way I planned, I blamed myself for being the biggest failure out there. BUT YOU know what??? If you cracked a joke about me today, I’d just laugh it off because I’M THAT CONFIDENT. For any relationship that does not work out,.. Oh well because I know what I bring to the table, so I walk away with PRIDE because I’M THAT CONFIDENT.  For everything that does not go MY WAY?  wait but I am human, so I keep pushing that much harder, striving, dreaming, knowing that I can accomplish ANYTHING in this WORLD because I’M THAT CONFIDENT.

 

“​A person may break your heart and damage your pride, but never ever give them the POWER to break your SPIRIT…

 

I didn’t just wake up one morning in love with myself. It took me time to learn to embrace who I was and to just love myself everyday regardless of others or of society’s so called fucking opinions. I’m sorry I don’t look a certain way that the world deems how every women should look,  Oh I’m sorry I’m not fake to gain the approval of individuals that will probably mean nothing to me in a years time, Oh I’m sorry I don’t “laugh” or act a certain way that YOU think is ideal. But really…

 

I  am sorry that I allowed anyone to make me feel unattractive.  I am sorry I allowed anyone to make me feel stupid. I am sorry  I allowed anyone to think I wasn’t successful enough but most importantly, I am so so..  *sigh* .. so sorry  I allowed anyone the right, to ever break my spirit.

 

I don’t know how to explain it all within this blog but one day I just “snapped” out of it. Any joke of the past, I realized were of insecurity issues you had which you used me as your scapegoat because I was too nice and would supposedly laugh it off. Any jokes of my appearance was because deep down you actually saw just how beautiful I was and in your own insecurities attempted to not let me see my own beauty. For any relationship which did not work out, I walked away, not because I didn’t think I was good enough for YOU but because I realized… you just never DESERVED me.  For those who thought I could not succeed, the truth was you were afraid of failing so you attempted to bring me down with you…

 

In time, I began to see everything in a more positive perspective. I grew to realize that deep within it was the insecurity of others that attempted to push those down that were left standing strong! It was the ones that were afraid  of failing that kept telling me that I could not succeed. In that moment, during that reflection, it was at that point, I stopped worrying about the opinions of invalid people.

 

Insecure people bring you down, to lift themselves up. Strong people don’t push others down, they lift them up

 

I’m not taking away from articles I’ve read that teach us how to build our confidence. But really? how can you give me a 10 step process without knowing me?  How can we guide anyone if we don’t really know where they’re coming from or how they feel in their situation? I do know that we all have different ways of coping, embracing and learning. I don’t know exactly when you will build that confidence but I can tell you from experience that it will happen if you take the time to focus on YOU.

 

In time you will gain confidence blended with the security of learning not to give a fuck about random people and to remove yourself of the toxic and negative part of this world. If we embrace and focus on appeasing ourselves first and foremost, naturally you will start caring less of  things that just don’t matter that don’t validate our existence.

 

Your confidence is key to MANY things in life … 

 

It leads to your successes in life to keep pushing for more because when all else fails, or if someone makes you feel like you can’t… 

 

Your own confidence will tell you…YES you can“​

 

Embrace yourself, Love yourself and fall in love with yourself over and over again. Realize that when you think you can’t, that you really can. Grow to understand that life does not revolve around those that do not matter because once you do, you have yet to see, just how beautiful YOU HAVE ALWAYS been…

6 Comments

  1. Yes, we should focus on us!!! We are bold, beautiful inside out, confident, dreamers. We might fall down, but we are so powerful that we can go up faster than a blink!!! Live…alive!!!
    Great post, girl!

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