LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
WE GREW UP HEARING STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK OUR BONES BUT NAMES WILL NEVER HURT US. WE WERE TAUGHT THAT BEING RIDICULED COULD BE FORGOTTEN, BECAUSE IT WAS SIMPLE NAME CALLING. DID WE EVER REALIZE OR THINK THAT THE POTENTIAL DAMAGE CREATED COULD BE WORST? THAT SCARS COULD BE IMPRINTED AND WOULD STAY IN OUR MINDS, OUR HEARTS AND OUR SOULS, LIKE A BAD STAIN THAT COULD NOT WASH AWAY. WHY DID I FRONT AND HIDE THE TRUTH FROM OTHERS AS IF IT NEVER HURT. WHY DID I PRETEND IT DID NOT MATTER, WHEN CLEARLY, IT DID.
We come into this world as babies crying. We progress to crawling, then walking, being surrounded by others. We are shown what is right, what is wrong and how we should act towards others and certain situations. We never wanted to believe that the world was not perfect, and that perhaps not everyone was kind. We wanted to grow up believing no one meant harm and that it was always in good fun. Did any of you realize the impact of ridiculing someone, that the scars would always be deeper than physical wounds. That a rock to the face could be healed much more quicker than the scars to those hearts and souls.
The world did not need to know of my biggest insecurities or what I feared the most. The inner demons within my own head that I fought daily, your words adding to the fight I had with myself each and every night. Bumping my ego up stronger then ever, to which I believed, protected me from my biggest worries in life. How could I trust you, with my deepest vulnerabilities that could crush me. Everything that made me wallow in a corner, during the most difficult of times.
Humans are not made to be perfect and are to have imperfections. We are not cookie cut or mass produced to react or to necessarily feel the same way. There was no perfect way to look, no perfect way to walk, to ever think or to talk. Perhaps as humans we imposed these thoughts onto each other, which made us believe we had the right to judge anyone who did not fit the “idea” fit. You made fun of her because she wasn’t the perfect height or weight. She didn’t have all the money in the world, so she didn’t rock the best clothes, her glasses were always crooked, her hair tangled and messy, but she possessed the biggest heart. Did you know this of her? of course not, because you could not get past her exterior look and you assumed she would always be a “loser”
Did you ever realize or care that she would grow up living with these words. A woman so incredibly strong from the outside, yet still clinging tightly to those words that were imprinted on her heart and soul, from years ago. It did not matter how many times you complimented her, for she would never see this looking at herself. All because of your words. Those words she heard over and over, that would stay haunting her each day. Was she ever going to be smart enough? pretty enough? or good enough, because she was tormented by the thoughts that she would never amount to become anything in life.
The world has been cruel, but have we become that much more cruel to each other as mankind. Had the world become so selfish, that we forgot that other humans had hearts too that could be torn and harder to mend as it imprinted into our souls. Did society, media or others place into our heads, that unless we were of such a status, we were of no value.
The greatest love that MOST of us overlook is the love we have for ourselves. The security that we build within ourselves, the reassurance to know that it will always start from within us. That no matter what negativity is thrown your way, that you could always pick yourself back up and remain in love with yourself. That we learn to ignore those that did not matter, and truly not be affected. That perhaps the names are called and people will ridicule because of their own insecurities, jealousies or demons that they fight each day.
You were never ugly, because true beauty laid in the eyes of the beholder, and who really understood the definition of true beauty. You will never be too fat, because the truth is, you always had the power to lose what you wanted. You were never stupid. Perhaps no one else quite understood how your thoughts or mind operated or that your true intelligence was built of life experiences. You were always just you, whether or not others accepted you or could ever see you from beyond the surface. The definition of true beauty was always within you darling, as your heart and soul broke a little more each time.
Did you ever realize how beautiful you truly were? or how smart, unique and different you were ? That as you continued to aged, you would truly understand that after all this time, you were special. You were ALWAYS beautiful my child. that no matter what others thought they saw, that they would never realize or come close to how truly beautiful you would grow up to be. How successful you had become and how many envied to be in the position you were in today. Do not ever forget darling to look at yourself today and see how far you have come along. That those ridiculing voices, meant absolutely nothing then and absolutely mean nothing today. Do not ever forget that YOU WILL ALWAYS BE LOVED, because the most important love always came from within.